Thursday, 22 November 2012

The Comedy of Spain

Special thanks go to the play-writes at for coming up with a story which is sure to grab the Oscar Award for best comedy this year. I think on the day it was written, it was 'bring your child to work' day in Spain. Failing that, it could be that Landaluce has written this himself (or maybe the mentally deficient individuals over at Gibraltar Es****l) For those of you who have not yet read it, I urge you to do so and have a jolly good belly laugh. Apparently, the Defenders of Gibraltar are the following (the accusation, followed by the facts):

(web page here)

1) Anti-Spanish:

If we were so anti Spanish, what on Earth do you think we were doing handing out water bottles and food to Spanish Citizens stuck in frontier queues of 6 hours? Not only that, but if we hated Spain so much, why do you think we bother handing out leaflets explaining the situation to Spanish citizens? A gentle reminder to those who harbour so much hatred for Gibraltarians, and even more for Gibraltarians who stand up to them - the Defenders of Gibraltar arent anti-spanish, we are anti your current incompetent and regressive government with its Fascist tendencies and approach to the solving of anything it deems a 'problem'. Thanks to the bumbling fools of Rajoy and Margallo, Spain currently has the worst reputation and economy in its history. However, just because we arent anti spanish, it doesn't mean we are going to be your Governments cheerleaders; thats Landaluces job, following in his idol Sanchez' footsteps.

2) Harassing and threatening Police and Civil Guard:

Just so you have it clear in your head, taking photos of Law Enforcement and/or military entities in the act of oppression is not harassment. We have always sought legal advice from Gibraltar Police and Lawyers prior to any arrival at the Frontier. We go  to document any queues, for onward transmission to the EU, UK and of course the UN. If you dont like the photography, the formula is simple: NO PHOTOS = NO QUEUES! The sad truth of this accusation is that the only threats have come from the Guardia Civil, who in the utmost civilized approach reminiscent of the Franco days, have punched and kicked the Fence as well as threatened us with physical harm should we cross into Spain. They too have taken photos of us.

3) Police Resistance Training: 

Now this one had me in fits of laughter for well over an hour - basically the play-writes copied a photograph from our blog (without our express permission I might add) which was part of a series of photos showing members of the Defenders of Gibraltar having a laugh whilst gaining signatures for the petition - indeed if you look in past posts, you will find the photo they have used. Apparently, the subjects of these photographs are engaged in Police Resistance Training LOLOLOL in full public view of course. Of course, Fascism goes hand in hand with Paranoia, which explains why a photo of two elderly (please forgive me) female members of the DoG having a laugh in public are brushing up on the moves taught by Jackie Chan in his recent visit (ooops....said too much)

4) Leader is Spanish:

I can certainly assure you that one, we have no leader only a committee of which one member is a spokesperson. Two, the spokesperson is currently Gareth Gingell, one of the founders of the group. Three, he is as much Spanish as Rajoy was born a woman. In any case, the writer tries to play on the less than intelligent reader, who already believing the previous lies flares up in rage at finding out it is the work of one of his supposed Judas like countrymen. If you fell for it, may I suggest you take an IQ test.......its amazing what a spanish writer can get away with on the backdrop of Cataluna elections (they have been painted out as betrayers of the Spanish cause; whatever the heck that is)

Please feel free to read this little propaganda comedy - Goebbels is surely playing thumbs up at the writer, until he read it himself and started rolling in his grave. Failing that, you could always print it out and decorate the birds nest (although it might give it a heart attack) or use it as toilet paper (although it might give you a nasty rash).

5) Independence and Rajoy joke:

Now I dont know about you, but I am a proud British Gibraltarian (yes still proud even though the FCO lack of action is shameful). Indeed everyone in Gibraltar knows that with Spain as a neighbour, independence would last all of 5 minutes before they screamed 'territorial integrity' as the precursor to military intervention. However that is a debate for another day. 

Apparently, a famous joke about politicians running over pigs (historically aimed at Zapatero) is apparently a call for Rajoys death! I would think that there are millions of people in Spain who harbour much more of that visceral hatred of the guy than us - we will stick to making fun of the bumbling idiot of a Spanish sounding version of Sean Connery if thats ok ;)


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Spain once again conducted illegal incursions into British Gibraltar Territorial Waters. In all fairness, how do we expect them to stop coming into our waters when they are up against pea shooters? Mind you the RGP gave an example to the Royal Navy on how to do things: These brave individuals went mano a mano with armed Aduana bananas, cutting loose a vessel whose occupants the Spaniards were trying to kidnap and take to Spain. Needless to say RGP, well bloody done! You made us all proud that day, and shamed the FCO and the Royal Navy.

The Deputy Chief Minister, Dr Joseph Garcia, was in Strasbourg on Tuesday for a series of meetings at the European Parliament. This follows an intervention in the Parliament Chamber by Liberal Democrat MEP, Sir Graham Watson, last night on the issue of the frontier delays. Dr Garcia was also interviewed by an EU television channel on the visit and on the frontier delays. Dr Garcia was accompanied by the Government's Chief Legal Officer Michael Llamas and Personal Assistant Caine Sanchez. The delegation returned home today.

Today the Defenders of Gibraltar once again went to the Frontier to document the political aspect of the creation of queues. At this moment in time, certain interesting bits of information have come to light during some of the photographs taken. These photos will remain unpublished for the time being while the committee deliberate on how best to propagate these for maximum effect. Other photos of the day can be found at our Facebook page (link at top of site)

OH and here is an interesting video which will surely wind up the fascists hehehe :)  LINK 

I forgot to mention that the 25 Helicopter video 'drones' have now arrived, and will soon be seen zipping around the border area and out at sea to document everything from above. There is a slight delay only because of the difficulty of having more than 4 airborne at any one time (due to frequency used for remote control) however these are being adjusted with advice directly from the manufacturer. The adjusted range will be 2km Line of Sight (so far enough than needed). So if you see 25 humming vehicles in the air, its not a Spanish invasion, its the DoG with our new toys ;)

Lastly, here is a picture to remind our Spanish readers of their current global reputation - it surely is bad enough - please dont make it worse...

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